What does it mean to see the world differently, and to write about it honestly?

Hosted by Ptim Pellerin, neurodivergent author and optical scientist, each episode features a conversation about one of Ptim's books, exploring the ideas, experiences, and neurodivergent intelligence behind the work.

From stimming as neurological wisdom to creativity in waves, from cosmic patterns to the shadows that reveal what light can't, these conversations go beneath the surface and into the mind that wrote...

The book "Calm In Chaos" is a companion to the music, created specifically with the neurodivergent brain as inspiration.

Find me on all your favorite music platforms as Phantom of the Artpera.

The Japanese concept of not comparing yourself to others, drawn from the observation that cherry, plum, peach, and apricot blossoms each open in their own time, in their own way, without reference to each other.

There is a particular kind of ache that doesn't have an obvious name.

It isn't jealousy, not exactly. It's quieter than that. It arrives when you watch someone else reach something you haven't reached yet, finish something you haven't finished, bloom in a season you're still waiting...

The Dutch word for going out into the wind to clear your head. Not a walk exactly. A deliberate exposure to open air and weather as a way of emptying a mind that has become too full.

I have approximately seventy tabs open right now.

Not on my browser. In my head. (ok, in my browser too)

Some of them are things I need to do today. Some are things I said I would do last week. Some are conversations I'm still processing from three days ago. Some are ideas I don't want to lose, half-formed things...

The Japanese word for the awareness of the universe that triggers a feeling too large for language. Not sadness. Not joy. Something older than either.

I was watching a flock of geese when they disappeared into the clouds.

Not dramatically. They didn't vanish all at once. They just kept going, one by one, into the grey, until the last one was gone and the sky was empty and I was still standing there looking at the place where they had been.

I didn't move for a long time. Not because I expected...